And God Laughs
I told God my plans and He laughed. So now I am living, laughing, and loving according to His Plans.

Someone to Grow Senile With Me

This weekend I was kidnapped by Prince Charming and abducted by (suv) horse drawn carriage to his very nice (house) castle. Yesterday the royal chef was on strike so we took the carriage to town to obtain the noon meal from an absolutely amazing Italian restaurant. Apparently because he is royalty, a special arrangement was made for entertainment to be provided with the delicious meal. Shortly after we were seated an old couple arrived and after negotiating which table would meet their needs (not the one with too much sunlight, or the one directly underneath the ceiling fan, or the one in the corner), our entertainment began. They were adorable in the way that two people become when they have been in love and together for so long that they virtually cease to exist as a separate entity. Here is a sample of the entertainment:

Mr: What's Lasagna?
Mrs: Its the big noodles with cheese, in layers.
Mr: Does it come with anything?
Mrs: Tomato sauce, but not chicken or anything.
Mr: Okay.
(about 30 seconds later)
Mr: What's lasagna?
Mrs: Its the big noodles with cheese and sauce.
Mr: Oh, I like that. What are you getting?
Mrs: I think I am going to get lasagna, its one of my favorite things here.
Mr: What's lasagna?
Mrs: The big flat noodles, cheese, tomato sauce.
Mr: I am going to get lasagna.
Waitress: How are we doing? Are we ready to order?
Mrs: Yes, I would like to have the lasagna.
Waitress: And do you want soup or salad with that?
Mrs: Salad please.
Waitress: And for you sir?
Mr: What's lasagna?
Waitress: It is layers of pasta and cheese in a tomato sauce.
Mr: I will have lasagna.
Waitress: And soup or salad?
Mr: What kind of soup do you have?
Waitress: Vegetarian minestroni or ham and artichoke.
Mr: Minestroni please.
Mrs: What did I order?
Waitress: You ordered the lasagna and a side salad.
Mrs: Oh, okay. I think I will have that.
Mr: What's lasagna?

I do believe the waitress could have brought them scrambled eggs and they would have believed that is what they had ordered, or that scrambled eggs were lasagna. They continued to have hilarious debates and discussions throughout the meal, including a segment on how a family member is always feeling great when speaking to Mr. but feeling horrible when speaking to Mrs., which must mean she does not give him enough money. Also debated was the existence of "crooks" in the world, and whether or not a husband and wife can ever have separate vacations. Mr. was Archie Bunker given flesh and bone, and Mrs. was his perfect foil. They were our court jesters, the perfect comedic entertainment for an incredibly delicious meal. I have decided that I want to one day have a Mr. in my life, and I want to be a Mrs. and I want someone to grow senile with me.
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Job 8:21

"He will fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy."



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Wild Olive

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Creative Victory

This is Me

I am a thirty year old enigma who has defied every expectation ever placed upon me and refused every definition created for me. My greatest passion in life is to make a difference in the lives of children with special needs and their families. As a special education teacher I broke all of the unwritten rules to make sure that my kids received the services they needed and had a right to receive. I have never been so proud to be reprimanded before in my life. Now, due to unpredictable twists in life, I am learning first hand what life is like when you rely upon a wheelchair for mobility. I am a medical puzzle with the pieces slowly being identified and put together, and my medical bills alone could fund a small nation. It takes a village to keep me alive. :) However, I am not defined by the genetic misspellings. I am a teacher, a daughter, an aunt, a friend, a dreamer, a reader, an amateur photographer, a writer, an advocate, a star gazer, a world changer. I am stubborn, situationally shy, quick to use humor and wit to make others laugh or cope with a situation, sarcastic, fiercely independent, giving, compassionate (sometimes to a fault), protective of those I love, defiant of arbitrary boundaries, perfectionistic, self conscious, self assured (yes you can be both!), articulate and occasionally dramatic. And that is just what I could fit in two sentences! :)

Who's On First, What's On Second, I Don't Know! (Third Base!!)*

Simple Vocabulary Definitions for those who may not speak fluent medical :)

Undiagnosed Progressive Neurological Disorder- This is the diagnosis that is believed to make everything else fit together. It explains my frequent infections, my muscle weakness and dystonia, my dysautonomia, my cardiac issues, my inability to regulate blood pressure, my dysphagia, my ataxia, my severe fatigue, my extreme nausea, my gastrointestinal dysmotility and IBS like syndrome, my unbelievable migraines, my sensory changes in my arms and legs, my vision issues, my hearing loss (so much for blaming medication), and so much more. Going back to infancy and childhood, this would explain the severe apnea, the significantly delayed motor skills, the reason why I could never keep up with my peers in physical activities, the neurogenic bladder, the malfunctioning thyroid, and my frequent illnesses and vomiting. This is the diagnosis now being used since the DNA testing for Mitochondrial Disease came back odd and I can not afford the expenses of a workup at the Mayo Clinic. We are treating symptomatically.

Pan-Dysautonomia- "Pan" means that it impacts many different systems of my body, "dysautonomia" is a failure of my autonomic nervous system or the part of my brain that does all of the automatic things that do not require conscious thought like telling your heart to beat, regulating your blood pressure, adjusting your body temperature, maintaining balance in space, digesting food, hunger and thirst, etc. It is believed that I have had this from birth based upon my history of symptoms, including severe life threatening apnea as an infant, but the cause remains elusive at this time

Dystonia- abnormal muscle tone and spasticity, including painful spasms, that primarily impacts my feet and lower legs and is now starting to be a problem in my back

Ataxia- difficulty maintaining balance and coordinating/executing movements

Dysphagia- difficulty swallowing due to any number of causes including muscle weakness and poor muscle coordination

Adipsia- the absence of a sense of thirst



Other Medical Issues- Lupus Anticoagulant (autoimmune disease that causes me to tend to form blood clots and has already caused two deep vein blood clots and one mild stroke), Migraines, unknown connective tissue disorder, abnormal gastric motility, allergies, history of v-tach and severe sinus tachycardia, changes to my echocardiagram that include leaking valves and a new murmur, low blood pressure, ataxia, untreated PFO (small hole in my heart that increases the risk of stroke), chronic lymphadema in my left arm, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Narcolepsy/Idiopathic CNS Hypersomnolance (believed to be a result of the dysautonomia and my brain's inability to regulate the sleep/wake cycle), mild hearing loss, malformed optic nerves, polycystic ovarian syndrome, pernicious anemia, vitamin deficiencies


* Title comes from an old Abbot and Costello routine that I chose to memorize in 6th grade and absolutely love.
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