And God Laughs
I told God my plans and He laughed. So now I am living, laughing, and loving according to His Plans.

Quagmire and a Zombie

I was notified via a little handwritten note attached to a form I requested from my former school district (Dante's Inferno level 14) that my COBRA health coverage runs out as of March 31. Nothing like a little warning here. The really annoying part is that without health insurance, especially prescription insurance, I pretty much become a contest to see which major body system fails first. For a while there I felt overwhelmed, as my options are pretty limited and the time is short. This would not be an issue if Social Security had not been such bastards and had just approved my claim and not forced an appeal because then I would have Medicare. Two options have already been eliminated. I can convert my COBRA insurance plan to an individual health care plan, but insurance is apparently for the healthy. Once I met the $2500 deductible, I would pay up to $100 per prescription until the insurance company had paind $2500 and then it would be all on me. Two of my prescriptions added together would take out the $2500. It allows a gracious 2 physicial visits per year. Something tells me Botox and wheelchairs and leg braces are not covered. I then checked to see if I could be added on to my father's insurance plan as a disabled dependent, but he is now on Medicare and so that is a no go. I am down to throwing myself at the mercy of the state and praying that there is an answer. I have faith that God will provide an answer, as He has never failed me before and He is not going to change His ways now. Even though it feels like I am in the middle of a quagmire, barely able to lift a foot without losing my boot to the muck, I know He is creating a way. Prayers are always appreciated.

Zombies are real, and I had the bizarre chance to meet one this week while having my blood drawn. Apparently they are drawn to Vampires. I was having my blood drawn, half listening to the conversation in the curtained area next to me because they were talking as if they were on a Broadway stage without microphones. Suddenly I hear the man make a proclamation that startled me.
"And I have rigor mortis!"
Now being the daughter of a large city homicide detective, I am relatively familiar with rigor mortis. Being a word nerd, I am relatively familiar with the root word of mortis. If he has rigor mortis then he definitely wins the prize for having the worst day ever. Considering he was breathing and talking, and I later saw him shuffling down the hallway, I can say with some certainty that he is not fully dead. This leaves one of two choices. He is out of his mind insane or a zombie. He never called out for brains, but given the cumulative IQ of the staff it would have been a meager snack for him and my brain is so scrambled it probably would cause an ulcer. I am guessing the guy is a little stiff in new situations and sticks out a bit at parties. I wonder if I get a diagnosis of rigor mortis of Social Security would approve me then? :)

" insurance is apparently for the healthy."

Wooh, I get that sentiment. I am so sorry you are having to go through this!!! We will be praying that a resolution comes that will give you what you need for health care. Man. I am shaking my head at the ridiculousness of this sitution for you. Unbelievable. I wish we could help somehow.

I don't know if this will help any, but sometimes when I reflect on our situation with Dakin the words of the hymn "Praise to the Lord" come to me: "Hast thou not seen/How all thou needest hath been/Granted in what he ordaineth."

I admire your faith immensely. Again, we will be praying.

And the zombie story is hilarious!! I love your writing!!! You have such an amazing voice.

first things first, I WILL as always be praying, second your writing needs a wider audience! :)

Me Three in the Prayer Tribe.

And the those who appreciate your writing, humor and faith in the face of dwindling ideas.

Surely there is someone who has an idea for you? Someone?


My father always used to use the term "rigor mortis" in reference to his arthritis. Must be a generational thing. I'm not a big pray-er, but I will bust one out for you. For real.

Job 8:21

"He will fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy."

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Wild Olive

Wild Olive

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Creative Victory

This is Me

I am a thirty year old enigma who has defied every expectation ever placed upon me and refused every definition created for me. My greatest passion in life is to make a difference in the lives of children with special needs and their families. As a special education teacher I broke all of the unwritten rules to make sure that my kids received the services they needed and had a right to receive. I have never been so proud to be reprimanded before in my life. Now, due to unpredictable twists in life, I am learning first hand what life is like when you rely upon a wheelchair for mobility. I am a medical puzzle with the pieces slowly being identified and put together, and my medical bills alone could fund a small nation. It takes a village to keep me alive. :) However, I am not defined by the genetic misspellings. I am a teacher, a daughter, an aunt, a friend, a dreamer, a reader, an amateur photographer, a writer, an advocate, a star gazer, a world changer. I am stubborn, situationally shy, quick to use humor and wit to make others laugh or cope with a situation, sarcastic, fiercely independent, giving, compassionate (sometimes to a fault), protective of those I love, defiant of arbitrary boundaries, perfectionistic, self conscious, self assured (yes you can be both!), articulate and occasionally dramatic. And that is just what I could fit in two sentences! :)

Who's On First, What's On Second, I Don't Know! (Third Base!!)*

Simple Vocabulary Definitions for those who may not speak fluent medical :)

Undiagnosed Progressive Neurological Disorder- This is the diagnosis that is believed to make everything else fit together. It explains my frequent infections, my muscle weakness and dystonia, my dysautonomia, my cardiac issues, my inability to regulate blood pressure, my dysphagia, my ataxia, my severe fatigue, my extreme nausea, my gastrointestinal dysmotility and IBS like syndrome, my unbelievable migraines, my sensory changes in my arms and legs, my vision issues, my hearing loss (so much for blaming medication), and so much more. Going back to infancy and childhood, this would explain the severe apnea, the significantly delayed motor skills, the reason why I could never keep up with my peers in physical activities, the neurogenic bladder, the malfunctioning thyroid, and my frequent illnesses and vomiting. This is the diagnosis now being used since the DNA testing for Mitochondrial Disease came back odd and I can not afford the expenses of a workup at the Mayo Clinic. We are treating symptomatically.

Pan-Dysautonomia- "Pan" means that it impacts many different systems of my body, "dysautonomia" is a failure of my autonomic nervous system or the part of my brain that does all of the automatic things that do not require conscious thought like telling your heart to beat, regulating your blood pressure, adjusting your body temperature, maintaining balance in space, digesting food, hunger and thirst, etc. It is believed that I have had this from birth based upon my history of symptoms, including severe life threatening apnea as an infant, but the cause remains elusive at this time

Dystonia- abnormal muscle tone and spasticity, including painful spasms, that primarily impacts my feet and lower legs and is now starting to be a problem in my back

Ataxia- difficulty maintaining balance and coordinating/executing movements

Dysphagia- difficulty swallowing due to any number of causes including muscle weakness and poor muscle coordination

Adipsia- the absence of a sense of thirst

Other Medical Issues- Lupus Anticoagulant (autoimmune disease that causes me to tend to form blood clots and has already caused two deep vein blood clots and one mild stroke), Migraines, unknown connective tissue disorder, abnormal gastric motility, allergies, history of v-tach and severe sinus tachycardia, changes to my echocardiagram that include leaking valves and a new murmur, low blood pressure, ataxia, untreated PFO (small hole in my heart that increases the risk of stroke), chronic lymphadema in my left arm, Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, Narcolepsy/Idiopathic CNS Hypersomnolance (believed to be a result of the dysautonomia and my brain's inability to regulate the sleep/wake cycle), mild hearing loss, malformed optic nerves, polycystic ovarian syndrome, pernicious anemia, vitamin deficiencies

* Title comes from an old Abbot and Costello routine that I chose to memorize in 6th grade and absolutely love.