Are you tired of people walking right past your fundraising display without even acknowledging you? Are you frustrated by people who tell you "no" time after time, even when you are using cute children to collect funds? Is the door to door routine getting tiresome? If so, have I got a deal for you. Now for a low, low price of dignity you can rent a gimp for all of your fundraising needs. One cute gimp in a wheelchair can bring in more funds for your organization in a single day than your cute walkers can in a week, with strategic placement and proper attire highlighting full gimp glory. Society may be able to say no to cute little children asking for funds for things like public schools and educational recreation, but few can pass up a gimp. So if you want the most funds for your fundraiser call Rent a Gimp today and watch the money roll in.

Please forgive my dark humor, I come by it both genetically and as a learned coping mechanism for life. My family is hysterical when we all get together, but it is often a humor that some may find slightly disturbing. My brother is a paramedic, my mother trained to be a nurse, I was a special education teacher, and both my mother and I have chronic medical issues. There is enough material there for a dark humor marathon.

Yesterday I helped my stepmother raise funds for the Disabled American Veterans, which is an organization I completely support and I would have stood there selling the ForgetMeNot flowers were I not in my wheelchair. However, I felt slightly like a fraud because I got the distinct feeling that some people thought I had been injured in combat. While I was injured in combat fighting for my darn life, it was not in a war like they are imagining. I do count as having a combat related injury because my father was exposed to Agent Orange and I have mild Spina Bifida. The only injury/illness right now that the government recognizes or acknowledges in the family members of soldiers. The DAV provided me with a loaner chair when the rented one became intolerable, and will allow us to use it as a backup chair when I get my next loaner chair from Wright and Filipis (more about that in another post - I believe it when I see it). It was cute yesterday to watch kids going in or out of the store where we were selling the flowers (a flower for any donation) check out my leg braces, my wheelchair, my wheelchair gloves, and my outfit (I had dressed that morning not knowing what I was doing in the afternoon in a pink T shirt, a pink and brown skirt, brown leggings, pink socks (I have to wear socks with my AFOs) and then white and pink sneakers- not what they expected for a chick in a chair).

The funniest and saddest thing to me is that if I were to post that rent a gimp add anywhere, I can almost guarantee I would be contacted by someone seriously wanting to rent a gimp to bring in more money for their organization, or themselves. I was mocking how people react differently, that pity instinct, but it is so real I am sure peope would want to capitalize upon it if given the chance. LOL Another business venture wasted...