When the ER doctor admits he has no clue what to do with you and so will be going with the standby treatment of fluids, monitoring, and time

When you have multiple doctors in the same specialty (three neurologists, two cardiologists, etc.)

When the pharmacist asks you about the side effects and interactions of your medications

When the pharmacy knows you by voice on the phone and greets you by name when you pick up medicine

When your cell phone contacts have more medical numbers than friends and family

When you have to spell the name of your medical condition and explain it to highly qualified medical professionals

When you carry a notebook with a separate page listing allergies, medical conditions, and current medications because you are tired of writing it out at every office visit and trying to keep it all straight is a feat of mental Olympics

When the phlebotomist needs to sit down when drawing your blood because she starts to feel woozy

When you can take a handful of pills without a problem but choke on a chewable Flintstone's vitamin

When you know how to shower with an IV in your arm, oxygen tubing in your nose, and the inability to stand independently…and look forward to this as a semblance of normalcy

When you realize that crimping the IV line to set of the alarm works a lot faster than pushing the nurse call button, and you use this to your advantage when you have waited over 45 minutes for anti-nausea medication or to be allowed to go to the bathroom

When you can identify by taste more than 6 different intravenous medications (yes, you can taste IV medications - vitamins and Heparin flushes taste particularly nasty)

When you have no problem calling out a doctor and informing them that MD does not equate to Medical Deity

When you can keep track of the pecking order of physicians and have will keep them in line by reminding those with "just out of school egos" that they are still practicing with training wheels

When you do not hesitate to inform a nurse that he needs to get his butt back out in the hallway to wash his hands, then put on gloves before administering anything into your IV - and then discuss protocol with his supervisor

When the phlebotomist spends 20 minutes researching the lab tests that the doctor has ordered and calls their reference lab more than twice to determine what vials and processing are required as they have never run these tests before

When you can not watch medical dramas on TV because you critique their many errors (on Bones, when Booth was in the hospital, his vital signs on the monitor never moved…ECG tracings continually move, numbers fluctuate…very annoying)

When you prefer to self administer any injections, and nurses have commented on your technique

When the first question you ask a new doctor is "what exactly is your experience with individuals with complex, complicated, and rare medical histories?" and they must pass your interview before making "the team"

When the cost of your prescription medications alone each year is more than the average income of most middle class families (and you thank God for providing insurance coverage in any form because without insurance you would not exist)

When you can spell words like pandysautonomia and lupus anticoagulant and antiphospholipid syndrome without hesitation, but you misspell words like perseverance and righteous

When you know how many different objects can be made out of an inflated medical glove, a sharpie, and some paperclips

When you have perfected your aim at shooting the caps off of syringes and using syringes as water guns

When your blood pressure drops to 78/40 and you actually debate whether or not to go to the emergency room

When you can sit and write a list like this in under 5 minutes, and it is actually amusing